Yes, Basroil Two, I hacked your precious little blog. Cry me a river.
Nightcrawler, you're officially becoming a damned nuisance. No, we will not allocate additional personnel. No, we will not allocate additional funds. No, we will not allocate additional equipment. No, we will not interfere with your operations, since this is entirely your call. But, damn it, do not go thinking you're the only one saving the world.
You are a low-priority division. How many times do I need to drill that into your head? We've got other problems to deal with. Your little Slender Man unit isn't going to be getting additional support because we have other problems. Stop trying to act like the god-damned Messiah - You are an ex-Marine assigned to the Slender Man division of our organization because we need someone with combat training and squad command experience on the job.
Let's recap. You have completely lost track of most of your combat units, or outright gotten them killed. You have been actively recruiting without permission FROM A COLLECTION OF VICTIMS OF THE CREATURE YOU ARE FIGHTING. Your science teams are gone. You have no business leading this unit, and by making this blog in some desperate attempt to rally your remaining teams(a wholly inefficient method, I might add), you have damaged our organization's secrecy - Something we desperately need intact to function - and possibly brought the whole damned federal government down on our heads. And Basroil Squad isn't helping matters.
You know I sympathize with you, but I sympathized with the guys we had working that one incident with the TV hijacking in Wyoming three years ago. We eventually had to hack the site and SomethingAwful inconspicuously, and pass it all off as a failed ARG attempt/internet prank. I'm not doing that again. Too many people would notice, and we're not even sure if your Tulpa Effect theory actually works. You are killing people with no concrete reason to do so. THIS IS THE KIND OF ATTENTION WE DO NOT WANT. Coordinate with victims, but do not engage. And no more recruiting.
Stay the fuck away from Lusk, Wyoming, by the way. Get back on task as soon as you read this, and stop bothering me.
-Specter
PS. - Basroil Two, for crap's sake, do not go for the Mr. House ending. It's depressing as all hell.
Men, I officially approve of the kind of boss you have.
ReplyDelete@Said Boss: I personally found the Mr. House ending most gratifying.
I thought you guys weren't in the gov't anymore. What other priorities do this organization have?
ReplyDeleteYou people never fail to amuse me, really. Our precious little NightCrawler has royally screwed himself. I suppose he should hope that he is already dead.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, assuming they believe in His existence, I do wonder what could be of a higher priority than Him.... It gives me the chills just thinking about it.
@zerombr
ReplyDeleteB2 here. We aren't gov't. We can't exactly tell you what else we do, because Specter will get on our case about it.
But, I promise, no vampires are involved. They probably exist somewhere, but, we haven't found them yet.